bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
