So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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