I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
