When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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