ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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