Do you still have your period?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize