How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
