you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
