Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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