Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
