just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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