super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize