He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
