I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
