I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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