She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
