MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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