Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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