At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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