Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
