i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
