I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize