i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize