I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
this just has baby written all over it
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
