Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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