I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
