i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
