So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
