girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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