so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
