Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
