I love black thongs
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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