Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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