so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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