Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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