nut hugger
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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