so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
