i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
