I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
