Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
