I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
