she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
