did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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