its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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