Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
