Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
