Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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