Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
