What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
