Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
