a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
