I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
