Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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