Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
