am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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