Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
