This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
