So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
