she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize