Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
